Testimonies: Finding Hope through the Struggle
Featured on this page is a growing collection of testimonies of women and men whose experiences with infertility, sterilization, abortion and contraception provide both understanding and hope for those who face similar struggles.
Thursday, January 19th, 2012
By Arland K. Nichols
It’s a harmless phrase really.
Many an expectant parent has said it: “We’re happy as long as he’s happy and healthy.” Well intentioned and true, no doubt. Who doesn’t want their child to be happy and healthy? Pregnant women forgo champagne toasts on New Year’s Eve, take prenatal vitamins with DHA and folic acid and make countless sacrifices — all for the health of their child.
But, what if the child to be born is not perfectly healthy? How does a parent respond if the prenatal diagnosis indicates that the child has a birth defect or genetic anomaly such as Down syndrome?
Recently, while waiting with my wife for an ultrasound, I had occasion to think about such questions. In the room next door we heard the nurse call an expectant mother after she had undergone prenatal testing. The nurse reported, “No, no, we have great news for you. Everything looks good. No Down syndrome, no Trisomy, so you don’t need to worry — no need to come in, you can just keep on doing what you are doing.”
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Tags: abortion, prenatal diagnosis, Rick Santorum
Posted in Arland K. Nichols, Beginning of Life, Dignity of the Disabled, Feature Post, Truth and Charity Forum | No Comments »
Wednesday, January 18th, 2012
By Tracy Winsor
As Christmas approached this year, I was waiting for a baby. Not my own child, but one that belonged to me by way of a supportive relationship I have with her mother. We are not sisters or old friends, but rather new friends brought together, surely by an opportunity arranged by God.
You see, I had been invited to an interview on Catholic Satellite radio to talk about my work as co-founder of Be Not Afraid. The topic was poor prenatal diagnosis. The mother had been listening and immediately called in to share the details of her own developing story. Her precious baby girl had a brain anomaly likely pointing to a serious genetic condition often characterized as “incompatible with life.”
The program host asked if I had any words of encouragement to offer the mother. I felt enormously put on the spot, but recall falling into a natural and all-too-familiar conversation with her, “I’m so sorry that you have received such difficult news surrounding your baby girl.” I acknowledged her grief and shock – after all, no one goes into the prenatal testing process expecting their baby will be anything but healthy.
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Tags: disabled, prenatal diagnosis
Posted in Beginning of Life, Dignity of the Disabled, Feature Post, Truth and Charity Forum | No Comments »
Friday, December 16th, 2011
By Monica Rafie and Tracy Winsor
As word spread of a new non-invasive, highly accurate prenatal test for Down syndrome, MaterniT21, the headlines could hardly have been more sensational: The End of Down Syndrome! Will We Cull Those with Down Syndrome? Are Kids with Down Syndrome on the Road to Extinction?
This mainstream response seems to suggest a terrible acknowledgment of what happens to babies diagnosed prenatally with Down syndrome. We have been “ending Down syndrome” for years, targeting atypical unborn children as we journey down a road that ensures a decreasing Down syndrome birth rate.
Just last week, a Time magazine article reported statistics pulled from a 2009 edition of the Archives of Disease in Childhood. As a result of more sophisticated prenatal screening, and with nine out of ten babies aborted following the prenatal diagnosis of Down syndrome, the birth rate for these children has been dropping for decades, decreasing by 15% between 1989 and 2005. This is particularly shocking as the impact of increasing maternal age during the same period should have resulted in a 24% increase in the Down syndrome birth rate.
What makes MaterniT21 (and all the new non-invasive prenatal tests based upon maternal plasma DNA) different and foreseeably catastrophic is that it will draw in a larger percentage of pregnant women. Those who reject invasive testing because of associated risks are likely to consent to a non-invasive test. Advocates for those with Down syndrome have braced for just that reality, predicting that the Down syndrome birth rate (roughly 1 in 700 now) will drop sharply once non-invasive tests such as MaterniT21 are more widely available.
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Tags: Down syndrome, MaterniT21
Posted in Beginning of Life, Dignity of the Disabled, Feature Post, Monica Rafie, Truth and Charity Forum | 1 Comment »
Thursday, December 15th, 2011
By Brian Barras, DDS
With Thanksgiving just behind us and Christmas fast approaching, it is a great opportunity to reflect upon and be truly thankful for all life. As a resident in pediatric dentistry, I have been blessed to serve children with various special medical needs. My colleagues and I have a unique practice – we treat the dental needs of children who have cancer, severe heart conditions or other debilitating health challenges.
One of my recent patients was Jacob. He could not speak, had slight vision out of one eye and had hearing difficulties. He leaned to his left side markedly, his hands and arms looked somewhat distorted and he had a constant drool. At the beginning of our appointment, I crouched down, looked the ten-year-old in the eye to introduce myself and asked how his day was going. His mom quickly informed me that because of his medical condition, Jacob could not understand me that well and could not verbally respond.
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Posted in Culture of Life, Dignity of the Disabled, Feature Post, HLI Staff, Marriage, Family & Sexuality, Truth and Charity Forum | No Comments »
Monday, September 12th, 2011
By Christopher Casey
Growing up in a large Cajun/Irish family in southeastern Louisiana, I always imagined my future self as a family man. That future became uncertain, however, when I was diagnosed with Stargardt’s macular degeneration as a teenager. By my 17th birthday, I was already past the medical and legal threshold of blindness, and, to make matters worse, Stargardt’s is usually hereditary.
By my entrance into adulthood, the odds were definitely stacked against my life plans. Inability to make eye contact and inability to drive a car are not assets in the dating world. Doctors were advising me to get genetic counseling, which sounded like a suggestion that I not have children. And how could I support a family? Statistics indicate that 70 percent of working-age blind people (legally and totally blind) do not have a job, and the fortunate minority face disparate wages.
I won’t tell you that I had a grain of faith or hope, but I chose to act as if I did, and maybe that is what counts, because I have been blessed.
Earlier this year, my wife Jan and I welcomed our ninth child. I have a steady job as an attorney, and Jan home-schools the children.
I met Jan through family. It seemed “meant to be” from the beginning. I don’t know how Jan looked beyond my disability and the related potential for difficulties in family life, but she did. She was the answer to fervent prayers.
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Tags: embryonic stem cells, marriage, Stargardt’s, stem cells
Posted in Feature Post, Marriage, Family & Sexuality, Testimonies: Finding Hope through the Struggle, Truth and Charity Forum | 4 Comments »
Thursday, September 1st, 2011
By Craig S. and Anne T. Ortega
In his first Epistle to the Thessalonians (1 Thess 4:3), St. Paul reminds this community and us, “for this is the will of God, your sanctification.” As a family, our sanctification has been through the pathway of disability; in particular, by way of our 15 year-old daughter who was diagnosed with autism at the age of five.
My wife and I have been married for almost 17 years and I was a stay-at-home father until our daughter was almost two. Autism is a spectrum disorder, which means there are different degrees of severity and a multiplicity of symptoms. Autism Speaks, the nation’s largest science and advocacy organization, describes the disorder as
“a general term used to describe a group of complex developmental brain disorders known as Pervasive Developmental Disorders (PDD). The other pervasive developmental disorders are PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Disorder – Not Otherwise Specified), Asperger Syndrome, Rett Syndrome and Childhood Disintegrative Disorder. Many parents and professionals refer to this group as Autism Spectrum Disorders. Today, it is estimated that one in every 110 children is diagnosed with autism, making it more common than childhood cancer, juvenile diabetes and pediatric AIDS combined. An estimated 1.5 million individuals in the U.S. and tens of millions worldwide are affected by autism. The vast majority of cases of autism are idiopathic, which means the cause is unknown.”
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Tags: autism, Blessed John Paul II, children with disabilities, pro-life
Posted in Culture of Life, Feature Post, Marriage, Family & Sexuality, Testimonies: Finding Hope through the Struggle, Truth and Charity Forum | No Comments »
Tuesday, August 16th, 2011
By Matt Lowell
Let me just start off saying that abortion never had a chance with us.
We found out in November 2005 that we were going to have a baby. I had just gotten out of the Army, and we had settled in Cibolo, Texas- right near San Antonio. When we first started trying to have a baby, we were surprised at how long it took. I have always joked about my little “swimmers”, and how they were probably swimming in circles. So we prayed, and we told Jesus that if he blessed us with a baby, we would educate our child about Jesus and raise him/her Catholic. Shortly after, we learned that Becky was pregnant.
Becky was the office manager for an Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor and she continued to work. She had always eaten well, and maintained a very active lifestyle of running, walking, biking, and working out; so we felt very good about everything. Around March 2006, however, we went in for a sonogram and our entire happy existence came crashing down around us.
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Tags: abortion, marriage, pro-life
Posted in Abortion, Feature Post, Testimonies: Finding Hope through the Struggle, Truth and Charity Forum | 8 Comments »
Friday, August 5th, 2011
By Sheri Demois
As I once again give the car keys to my now six foot tall son, I am reminded of the decisions surrounding his birth. How can it be that I was living in a world where, with only my signature, I could have opted to take his life away from him – his first “Sesame Street Live” performance, his first day of kindergarten, his prom. And what about the many people, teens and adults, he has touched through his leadership, his music, and sometimes simply his presence. God knew exactly what He was doing when He created Justin and to think that I could have altered that plan is frightening.
I was part of the “me” generation that grew up trying to make sense of the saying, “if it feels good do it!” There weren’t many things that I wanted that I didn’t have…except of course, a baby. My husband and I tried to get pregnant for many years, but all attempts were unsuccessful. It wasn’t until years later, after a few surgeries and seemingly never ending visits to the doctor, that we were finally gifted with parenthood.
Other than the fact that I was considered in the “at-risk” age category, my pregnancy was wonderful and uneventful. I gained the proper amount of weight, took my prenatal vitamins, and made all of my appointments. You can imagine, then, my surprise when I was directed to attend “Genetic Counseling” with my husband. My doctor explained it in such a way that made it sound simple; just one more step on the path to us becoming parents and having the opportunity to hold our baby. Well, if everyone else was doing it, then we would too! After all, this was our first time as parents and we wanted to get it right.
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Posted in Abortion, Culture of Life, Feature Post, Marriage, Family & Sexuality, Testimonies: Finding Hope through the Struggle, Truth and Charity Forum | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, July 26th, 2011
By Anonymous
(This is the first in a series of testimonies from women and men who have found hope through their struggle with infertility and sterilization.)
In 2001, my husband and I married and began our journey with infertility. I had been diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) prior to our marriage and we knew that achieving pregnancy would be difficult. We also knew that as Catholics, artificial reproductive techniques were not an option, so through my regular ob/gyn we tried “natural” treatments.
In 2003, once we reached the limits of these efforts without becoming pregnant, we were referred to an IVF doctor who would “respect our decision to not do artificial technologies.” After some tests, consultations, and many arguments defending our faith, we were told that if we didn’t want to do artificial techniques that we would never have our own biological children. We were devastated, but started down a path of saving and looking into adoption.
6 short months later, with no medical intervention or treatment, and only by the grace of God, I conceived our daughter. My pregnancy was troubled at the beginning, but our sweet baby made it through and is now a vibrant 6 1/2 year old. Through this process, my husband and I felt like we encountered one road block after another, and that there had to be something better. After I gave birth, my PCOS and PMS worsened and our hope for another child faded.
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Posted in Culture of Life, Marriage, Family & Sexuality, Natural Family Planning (NFP), Testimonies: Finding Hope through the Struggle, Truth and Charity Forum | No Comments »
Wednesday, September 8th, 2010
I was one of those little girls who hovered around babies waiting for a chance to hold them. My baby dolls were real to me. And even though I had the joy of caring for my two little brothers, as they grew, I sometimes felt disappointed because we had such a small family; only six children.
So when my first son, Aaron, was born, my heart brimmed with happiness. As he grew, I thrilled at his quick mind and curiosity for the world. Son number two, Luke, was a cute, cuddly little blonde with a sweet temperament. Our third boy, Tyler, showed his lively personality and athletic prowess early. I loved my little boys with all my heart, but were three little bundles of joy enough? I decided they were. Or rather, I was influenced by the world around me that three was plenty.
My husband, Mark, was not so sure. I knew the Catholic Church taught that artificial birth control was against God’s plan, but being surrounded by Catholics who had no qualms with it, I comfortably ignored that teaching. I decided to have surgery for a tubal ligation. Two days prior to surgery, during the pre-op exam, the doctor explained the failure rate was only 1 in 500. Those odds were unsettling. “Not bad odds for the lottery,” I thought. A failure could result in a tubal pregnancy which could result in death. I canceled. (more…)
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